Dr. Larry Barnhill

Divorce is an inherently stressful situation for all family members. Many people use an attorney who can help them navigate the legal issues and make decisions as well as negotiate with the other attorney. Often a psychologist can also assist in decision-making and conflict resolution, sometimes at a much reduced cost in time and money. Similarly, a psychologist can team up with your attorney to help mediate disputes or provide expert input regarding the best interests of the children.

Custody and/or Parenting Evaluations
It is best when parents can agree on the terms for custody and parenting time. However, it is often difficult because both parents want the most time they can have with the children. Also, sometimes a parent has a valid concern about the other’s parenting abilities. A custody evaluation is an in-depth study to determine the best interests of the child. Both parents and the child are interviewed, and the parents take psychological tests, including personality assessments and sometimes other tests (for example, substance abuse, anger expression, parenting attitudes, emotional stability, etc.). These can help their attorneys to make recommendations or the judge to make decisions for the best interests of the child. Sometimes the custody is not at issue, just allocating parenting time, and this can be addressed and recommendations made.

Evaluation and Therapy for Children
When children have problems (emotional, educational, or behavioral), it may benefit the child and parents to have a professional evaluation to provide guidance in making decisions about how to address them in the new context of two families. Also, often the children can benefit from a chance to talk over their feelings and pressures with someone who is not involved in the dispute. A friend of the family can sometimes be helpful, but sometimes a professional can provide an additional benefit.

Parent Coaching, Education, or Counseling
During the divorce process or even after a final decree has been established by the Court, parents can often benefit from counseling or “coaching” from an outside party with experience in child development and divorce situations. Divorce is listed as one of the top three most stressful life experiences and it is sometimes hard to handle the intense feelings and conflicts, the complicated issues, and the need to focus on yourself as well as your children. Reviewing these issues with a counselor can help achieve greater clarity, help you be your best self, and develop strategies to reach the best possible outcome for yourself and your children.

Mediation
Mediation is a process where two (or occasionally more) parties bring their disputes and suggested solutions to a neutral third party to help them develop livable solutions for both parties. This process can occur in one day, or at times can occur in several sessions over a few weeks time. Individuals may be together for some of the process or in separate rooms while Dr. Barnhill facilitates negotiation. Sometimes individuals bring their attorneys to be part of the process. The book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury of the Harvard Negotiation Project is a helpful tool in negotiating family conflicts. It is generally recommended (and often Court Ordered) to at least try mediation before having a court battle over divorce issues. Dr. Barnhill is a fully trained Indiana Registered Domestic Mediator.

Parent Coordination
Parent Coordination is a specialized service suggested by attorneys or a judge when couples have a hard time working together toward the best interests of the child after the divorce. Persistent conflict between parents is known to be the most damaging factor to the child in a divorce situation. Attorney expenses and long waiting times to get court hearings can make it difficult to get help. Parent Coordinators are psychologists or attorneys with specialized training in mediation and conflict resolution who help couples resolve disputes and develop livable solutions to their problems. While it is generally best if the parents make their own decisions in a mediation process, at times, if the judge allows, parent coordinators can actually make legally binding decisions for the couple in order to help bring an end to conflict and get re-focused on helping the child.

Parent Education
Parent education includes counseling but also provides specific information to parents about child development and parenting strategies. Parents want to know the most up-to-date research and information that applies to their child specifically, about what to expect, and ways to handle all kinds of family issues with the children. Also, parents with children with special needs may need professional help in making the best plans for their child. It often helps if it is an unbiased outside party who can provide the needed information.

Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative Divorce is a new alternative to divorce which avoids the adversarial process of fighting in Court. Both parties have their own attorneys, but they commit to working collaboratively for the best interests of themselves and their children, and not litigating. In fact, if the parents decide to go to Court, the collaborative attorneys withdraw from the case. This acts as a powerful incentive to work things out with less conflict, and to focus on cooperating toward acceptable solutions. Dr. Barnhill works with local attorneys Michelle Domer and Don Francis (see www.IndianaNoCourtDivorce.com) and others in the role of Parent Coach or Child Specialist to help parents reach their best decisions about their family while minimizing conflict.